Dear Bug,
Ugh! I haven't written in awhile AGAIN because I've been so busy at work. So, I'm going to just write you lots and lots of short little letters until my schedule opens up again. It's just so you know that you are always on my mind, even when I'm crazy busy writing stupid memos.
You've started crying and reaching for me when I'm not holding you - and I freaking love it! Aunt Warnie was playing with you yesterday, and you were all smiley, but once you saw me walk by in the other room you started crying and wouldn't stop until I picked you up and smooshed you. It was SO great. Thank you, Bug. I hope you are forever hopelessly devoted to Mommy.
Gotta go pump now - I have to make sure you have some food for dinner!
Love always,
Mommy
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Funny Things
Dear Bug,
I've been reading through the letters I've written to you and realized that they're not very funny. Mommy, as you know, is freaking hilarious. And, though I love you too too much, I find that the sappy letters on this blog are just not totally Mommy. So, I thought I'd make a list of some of the funny things that you do or that have happened since you were born. Here goes.
1. Daddy once put a burpcloth on your head with one of Mommy's head bands and told me about the rising price of oil.
2. When I bring you into my bed in the middle of the night, you always let out a huge fart before falling asleep.
3. I've found binkies, baby puke, and burpcloths in my bra. Sometimes all three have been in there at once.
4. Daddy and I giggle every time we hear you fart in your sleep over the baby monitor.
5. I've leaked breastmilk through my shirt at work. In front of my boss.
6. Two weeks ago Daddy was holding you up over his head. You puked in his mouth.
7. I called a two year old girl a "ho" at Storytime because she took one of your toys from you. I don't think her mother heard me.
8. When you flap your arms in my general direction Daddy says, "Woman! Get me some breastmilk!"
9. You always poo in your high chair or your jumperoo. I know you're doing it because you grunt and your face turns all red. I ask you if you're dropping a two-sie, and you grin at me.
10. The first time Daddy changed your diaper you peed all over him.
11. GP Marie asked to be your Valentine on Valentine's Day. I told that ho to back off.
12. When I clean your penis, you laugh hysterically.
13. You took a green poo on St. Patrick's Day. I considered it a shout-out to your Irish roots.
14. I drank a cosmo at Cousin Jenn's wedding and didn't dump the breastmilk I pumped. You drank it and slept the whole day. That might have been bad parenting on my part.
15. Daddy and I dressed you up as a hot dog for Halloween.
16. Every time you take a bath, you pee. It looks like the fountains at the Bellagio.
17. Daddy farted on you once during one of your wrestling matches. That was one of the few times you lost.
18. You and the turkey were the same size at Thanksgiving.
19. Everytime Daddy goes to take an important dump at night, you wake up and start to cry.
20. Eliana told us that, while you were playing with Jose, you hit him over and over in the face, then bit his nose. Daddy didn't tell her that you were doing Hurricane and Stink Nose, your signature wrestling moves.
21. You shudder when I feed you green beans.
22. When Daddy would hold you without a shirt on in the early days you would try to breastfeed from his nipples.
23. I call you Chris Brown when you hit Anna in the face.
24. Daddy and I took you trick-or-treating on Halloween. We ate all the candy you got.
25. When we're having trouble getting you to nap, Daddy sings "Teenage Dream" to you. You pass out by the second verse.
That's all I've got right now, dude. But don't worry, there will be plenty more where that came from!
I love you, my funny guy!
Love,
Mommy
I've been reading through the letters I've written to you and realized that they're not very funny. Mommy, as you know, is freaking hilarious. And, though I love you too too much, I find that the sappy letters on this blog are just not totally Mommy. So, I thought I'd make a list of some of the funny things that you do or that have happened since you were born. Here goes.
1. Daddy once put a burpcloth on your head with one of Mommy's head bands and told me about the rising price of oil.
2. When I bring you into my bed in the middle of the night, you always let out a huge fart before falling asleep.
3. I've found binkies, baby puke, and burpcloths in my bra. Sometimes all three have been in there at once.
4. Daddy and I giggle every time we hear you fart in your sleep over the baby monitor.
5. I've leaked breastmilk through my shirt at work. In front of my boss.
6. Two weeks ago Daddy was holding you up over his head. You puked in his mouth.
7. I called a two year old girl a "ho" at Storytime because she took one of your toys from you. I don't think her mother heard me.
8. When you flap your arms in my general direction Daddy says, "Woman! Get me some breastmilk!"
9. You always poo in your high chair or your jumperoo. I know you're doing it because you grunt and your face turns all red. I ask you if you're dropping a two-sie, and you grin at me.
10. The first time Daddy changed your diaper you peed all over him.
11. GP Marie asked to be your Valentine on Valentine's Day. I told that ho to back off.
12. When I clean your penis, you laugh hysterically.
13. You took a green poo on St. Patrick's Day. I considered it a shout-out to your Irish roots.
14. I drank a cosmo at Cousin Jenn's wedding and didn't dump the breastmilk I pumped. You drank it and slept the whole day. That might have been bad parenting on my part.
15. Daddy and I dressed you up as a hot dog for Halloween.
16. Every time you take a bath, you pee. It looks like the fountains at the Bellagio.
17. Daddy farted on you once during one of your wrestling matches. That was one of the few times you lost.
18. You and the turkey were the same size at Thanksgiving.
19. Everytime Daddy goes to take an important dump at night, you wake up and start to cry.
20. Eliana told us that, while you were playing with Jose, you hit him over and over in the face, then bit his nose. Daddy didn't tell her that you were doing Hurricane and Stink Nose, your signature wrestling moves.
21. You shudder when I feed you green beans.
22. When Daddy would hold you without a shirt on in the early days you would try to breastfeed from his nipples.
23. I call you Chris Brown when you hit Anna in the face.
24. Daddy and I took you trick-or-treating on Halloween. We ate all the candy you got.
25. When we're having trouble getting you to nap, Daddy sings "Teenage Dream" to you. You pass out by the second verse.
That's all I've got right now, dude. But don't worry, there will be plenty more where that came from!
I love you, my funny guy!
Love,
Mommy
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